home. puking in laundry basket.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
