After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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