That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
