Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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