God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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