why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
