Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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