you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
