You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
