Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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