turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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