ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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