Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
