Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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