this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
