It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
