i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
