Sponge bath it is.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am naked and annoyed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
