i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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