spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
