It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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