oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
