so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Olympian is in my bed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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