why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
