Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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