he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
