glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
