We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
