i already hear my dad disowning me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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