you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
