3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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