i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
