I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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