Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Found your dick twin last night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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