YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
