we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
