Sponge bath it is.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
