We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
