i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
