arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
