My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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