her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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