bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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