He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
