My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize