My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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