i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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