hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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