When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
