Welp...herpes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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