I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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