that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
