He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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