I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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