yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
