is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
