Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
