There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
