Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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