there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
