I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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