When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When did angry sex become our thing?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
