Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
